It's a hamster. Okay?
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
A True Story
While I was alone in my living room one day, a friend of mine rushed into the room, in a panic. Not wanting to seem like I didn't care, I asked him what was wrong.
"What's wrong?"
"It's my kids...."
"I don't care"
I didn't care. However, he didn't seem to care that I didn't care, and he continued.
"They're growing so fast....."
i sighed and interrupted him.
"Look, you have to accept that your kids are going to grow up. They'll get bigger, they'll change, and may become more violent. Just be happy if they don't try to kill you"
"But...."
"Go away"
He hurried away in a panic. I went to the window to make sure that he was gone, and saw his children inflating in my driveway.
"Oh, so that's what he meant when he said they were getting bigger....", I said to no one, before sitting back down and not giving a shit.
It was only later, after they exploded, that I was to have an opportunity to find out what had happened. I was forcing my friend to clean up the mess, and he started to explain the circumstances that had preceded this strange event. However, as he was explaining it to me, I found that I didn't care, and thus stopped listening.
The end.
"What's wrong?"
"It's my kids...."
"I don't care"
I didn't care. However, he didn't seem to care that I didn't care, and he continued.
"They're growing so fast....."
i sighed and interrupted him.
"Look, you have to accept that your kids are going to grow up. They'll get bigger, they'll change, and may become more violent. Just be happy if they don't try to kill you"
"But...."
"Go away"
He hurried away in a panic. I went to the window to make sure that he was gone, and saw his children inflating in my driveway.
"Oh, so that's what he meant when he said they were getting bigger....", I said to no one, before sitting back down and not giving a shit.
It was only later, after they exploded, that I was to have an opportunity to find out what had happened. I was forcing my friend to clean up the mess, and he started to explain the circumstances that had preceded this strange event. However, as he was explaining it to me, I found that I didn't care, and thus stopped listening.
The end.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I'm not sure what this is (1)
Random lines drawn in pen, then altered to make it look like... well, that..... not exactly my best work....
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Probablilty
The chances are the chances aren't.
The number of things in the world that have a chance of happening is greater than the number of things. Furthermore, there are more things that won't happen than there are things that will. Most things that are things that could happen won't happen.
Therefore, the chances are, the chances aren't.
The number of things in the world that have a chance of happening is greater than the number of things. Furthermore, there are more things that won't happen than there are things that will. Most things that are things that could happen won't happen.
Therefore, the chances are, the chances aren't.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
World History X
This story begins with nothing.
Because in the beginning, there was exceptionally little to write about except for lengthy descriptions of the extreme nothingness that didn't exist. This nothingness both existed, and didn't exist, simultaneously everywhere and nowhere, because nothing existed. Basically, this time didn't exist. I'm writing about nothing.
It has generally been accepted that before everything existed, there was nothing, and even if there was something, there was no one around to record it, so as far as anyone cares, there was nothing.
It was a great place (or lack thereof). There were no queues for anything because there were no people. No traffic jams because there was nowhere to go. No laws against anything because of the lack of anything for there to be laws against.
Time, being the only thing that stops everything from happening at once, didn't exist, so everything happened at once. However, since there wasn't anything that could happen, nothing happened.
God wished he could have been there during this time, as he enjoyed doing nothing every chance he got. It was such a refreshing change from actually doing something. But then, if he had been there, there wouldn't have been anywhere for him to be, so he wouldn't have existed. Which he didn't. Nothing did. There was nothing.
However, it is impossible to refer to the time when there was nothing in the past tense, because there was no time. For something to have happened, it has to exist in time. Therefore, this time of nothingness didn't exist. Never happened. Nothing.
Then, apparently, things existed, and the nothingness was gone. Where the nothingness went is anyone's guess, but suddenly things took nothing's place.
Then a load of stuff happened to do with things, and the world was filled with the monotony that was existence. The life forms that existed in this existence developed a tendency to kill each-other and destroy whatever they could, in an apparent effort to return to a time of nothingness.
In time (which now existed), their wish was granted and nothing returned, much to everyone's (no one's) satisfaction. And so, as time once again ceased to exist, everything (and nothing) that had happened in the past also ceased to exist, and it officially never happened.
There was nothing.
Artist's impression of 'Nothing'.
Because in the beginning, there was exceptionally little to write about except for lengthy descriptions of the extreme nothingness that didn't exist. This nothingness both existed, and didn't exist, simultaneously everywhere and nowhere, because nothing existed. Basically, this time didn't exist. I'm writing about nothing.
It has generally been accepted that before everything existed, there was nothing, and even if there was something, there was no one around to record it, so as far as anyone cares, there was nothing.
It was a great place (or lack thereof). There were no queues for anything because there were no people. No traffic jams because there was nowhere to go. No laws against anything because of the lack of anything for there to be laws against.
Time, being the only thing that stops everything from happening at once, didn't exist, so everything happened at once. However, since there wasn't anything that could happen, nothing happened.
God wished he could have been there during this time, as he enjoyed doing nothing every chance he got. It was such a refreshing change from actually doing something. But then, if he had been there, there wouldn't have been anywhere for him to be, so he wouldn't have existed. Which he didn't. Nothing did. There was nothing.
However, it is impossible to refer to the time when there was nothing in the past tense, because there was no time. For something to have happened, it has to exist in time. Therefore, this time of nothingness didn't exist. Never happened. Nothing.
Then, apparently, things existed, and the nothingness was gone. Where the nothingness went is anyone's guess, but suddenly things took nothing's place.
Then a load of stuff happened to do with things, and the world was filled with the monotony that was existence. The life forms that existed in this existence developed a tendency to kill each-other and destroy whatever they could, in an apparent effort to return to a time of nothingness.
In time (which now existed), their wish was granted and nothing returned, much to everyone's (no one's) satisfaction. And so, as time once again ceased to exist, everything (and nothing) that had happened in the past also ceased to exist, and it officially never happened.
There was nothing.
Artist's impression of 'Nothing'.
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